Life is a blessing and usually wonderful but 2009 has been tough. I thrive on being happy, it just seems easier to be a half glass full kind of gal but this year is a challenge. I lost another amazing friend and brother, Ajile. I shared some of my fondest memories of Brooklyn and Manhattan with Ajile. He was my neighbor when I first moved to Brooklyn in 1999 and we have been friends ever since. He met my mother, my sisters and we share many of the same friends, some without knowing. We shared many passions in life and I pray that the creator had a surf board and a snow board waiting for him when he arrived on Friday.
Another kindred spirit,Nassan, passed away in February. Michael Jackson died. I was in denial all summer but reality struck and I finally cried. I'm premenopausal and the hot flashes suck. I'm a 25 year old in a 62 year old body. It just seems like 2009 is pecking at my soul.
But as with anything in life you have to fight back. Don't surrender to the unfairness that comes with life, surrender to love. So I've decided to spend 80% of my days exploring my passions and reinforcing the ideas of life being as fulfilling as you wish for it to be. The other 20 is spent watching the Young and the restless and eating (just ask my sister Beth).
I've done all my inspiration projects for A/W 09 and have fallen in love with fashion, yet again. I also realized I'm much more innovative in my thinking than I have been in my personal execution. Funny how people who are responsible for creating fashion looks can get lost in their favorite everyday jeans and tees. It's the never ending story but London get ready. I'm going to translate on the outside what I see myself as on the inside - unique, easy (like Sunday morning, not like the Kardashians) and free.
I also decided to listen to every loving or inspirational song I could get on my iPOD. The really loving ones that make you want to gag if you just had a bad day like "Nothing Really Matters" with Lauryn and D'Angelo, "By your side" by Sade or "Lifetime" by Maxwell - even Juicy by Notorious B.I.G. "Spread love, it's the Brooklyn way!" (That's for you Aj...)
Museums, fashion blogs, V, Dazed and Confused, overdosing on Michael Jackson and internet window shopping -- whatever it takes I'm getting back to myself or actually.....I'll be moving forward. Thought: why do people want to get back to themselves, shouldn't we want to constantly progress? I just have 4 months left in this program and then I'm free to return to the life I was summoned to live. Life is full of choices, will you fight and enjoy the life you were destined to live or roll over and let it get the best of you?
Next week look for an update on my progress. The blood test results come in regarding my 60 day prognosis next week.
For my loving brother, Ajile, and for all those we have lost this year:
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