Day 2 pre-testing

7:00 am

Wake-up, Ugh! Feeling like Garfield, wanting to stay in bed all day. We went to Tapas Teatro last night and had way too much fun. It started off with Ira, Amy (my friend and caregiver on Tuesday) and Walla (my favorite Sudanese Arab now U.S. citizen from New York) for dinner and Sangria. Who needs to watch the B.E.T. awards on such a beautiful evening? Suddenly people starting appearing from the streets like the Beat it video: Bobby, Aaron, Carlos then two of Amy's friends. Wow, the whole crew came out minus my bestest Kareema. Sangria, tapas and good friends -- good times. But we didn't get in until 1:30 am so today is going to be difficult for everyone.

7:30 am

Drop Walla off at the train station, her MBA Charter School Marketing internship awaits her. I'm off to Hopkins and Ira's off to teach her college bound students the principles of Theatre.

9:00 am

I'm meeting with Dr. Wharam, a radiation oncologist for a consultation. Boring. He basically says after my chemotherapy, something he is unfamiliar and disconnected to (at least in regards to his role in things) I will receive 200 rad in radiation. Two-hundred is not a lot of rad. Not enough to make you infertile or lose your hair. For example, a man with testicular cancer would receive approximately 1200 rad, 6x's the amount I am to receive. Or someone with a more aggressive form of cancer would receive 5000 rad over a 4-5 week span at 180 rad a day. I will only receive 200 rad the day before the BMT. What's the point then? My sentiments exactly and I don't think I was given a finite answer. Basically it's been part of the protocol and they've been slowly decreasing the amount of rad as they are finding it's not significant in destroying the patients bone marrow or in improving the process of the new donor marrow to graft.

2:00 pm

I have a complete physical exam and discussion of my medical history with the nurse practitioner, Amy. Tonsillectomy October 1995 and Gall bladder removed June 2006. Need anything else? Call my people. I'm out of here, it's my birthday!

Thank you for all the birthday wishes! My cup runneth over. It was truly a great day and I felt the love. Note to self, address and answer Roberta and Donnie in my prayers tonight: On June 29 the love was with me. Who's got next?



I hope you enjoyed the very special day of June 29th. Thank you for reading.

Peace and blessings,

Christina

R.I.P. MJ

Day 1 pre-testing

9 a.m.
I arrive at Nuclear Medicine for a heart scan. The name alone scares me, Nuclear and Medicine don't seem to marry well. Upon walking through Hopkins you can feel how grand the facility is, not just in name, but in square footage. My mom dropped me off, but in all fairness, she asked if I needed her. I said no, trying to be strong, but on second thought, it would have been nice to have her here for support. Sickness is all around and its very real. I've been in a bubble of happiness and splendor, a.k.a. "my life", but this is definitely making things set in for me. It evens smells like sickness -- that or Purell hand sanitizer. All these thoughts before my first appointment. I have no clue what a heart scan in the basement at Nuclear Medicine means but I'm about to find out. There are certain things you want to walk in and not know about, like a movie that you heard was two thumbs up. You don't want to hear the story line so that every scene and emotion is a pleasant surprise. Trust me, I am not having one of those movie moments right now. They just called my name! Time to get it together. Wish me luck.

10:30 am
Heart scan was simple. She drew blood from me, injected it with some nuclear product and re-injected it into my blood. They wanted to see how my heart valves function and apparently the injection would show the color better in the images. Next stop, lab work.

I see the phlebotomist who wants to draw 2 gallons of blood. Think I'm joking? Look at the vials she has to fill. Pokes me once got a third of the blood she needed. Second poke I filled 2 vials, Third poke the vein ballooned. That's it! C'est finis! Whatever blood my body has, it's staying. It's now 12:10 and I have 30 minutes until my next series of tests. I run into my brother in the lobby preparing to get his blood drawn. He also has to go through a series of pre-testing. Today his includes a complete physical, lab work and a heart scan. He's wearing a mask because he has the flu and we're in the cancer building. It's necessary and funny all at the same time. After a few jokes about my new haircut, I leave him in the waiting area to eat my packed lunch in the grassy knoll on the hospital grounds.

12:45 pm
I'm cramping really bad still. 14 eggs are not easy to give. I had decided to take the "man up" road and skip the pain meds -- bad choice. On my way to my EKG, I'm on the elevator with some docs and I almost scream in pain. Don't want to cause a scene so I opt to pinch my arm real hard. Note to self: take that advil you snuck in your Marc Jacobs tote in case of emergency as soon as I get off this thing.
I don't make it that far. We're in a hospital right? I ask for a wheelchair escort. Hey, Hopkins is massive. With all the staff in here, I'm sure someone would be willing to push me around to my appointments. Voila, a gentleman is found! My EKG specialist volunteers. He's kinda creepy though seeing as he has full access to my boobies during my EKG. I'm going to pretend he's being professional even though his personal inquiries of my life and his volunteering the fact that he's not married infers otherwise. Whatever, 7th floor please?

2:30
Next stop a series of bizarre lung volume tests. In every room you hear the specialists yelling, "BLOW SUCK BLOW SUCK". It's all in the details in this area. Even the mouthpiece is shaped like a set of pretty lips. It's almost too humorous to even describe. Fortunately my specialist has a sense of humor as well and is patient with me when I'm too busy laughing to focus on breathing.


3:30
I'm off to my cat scans and chest x-rays. It takes about 15 minutes and then I'm done.

Today wasn't so bad, except for the cramping from Tuesday. More tests all day Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Until then, I'm resting. I've had enough poking and prodding for one week. Thank you for reading and enjoy the weekend!

Peace and blessings,

Christina Madry

Bday

Today I gave birth to 14 (count em 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13..) yes 14 eggs! The staff at Hopkins said I set some sort of record. I was receiving high fives and smiles all morning. Again, that is such a relief because I was only able to do the retrieval process once. The average woman would only have provided 6 per retrieval so to hear the number 14 is a blessing to me. I consider it an early birthday gift to myself from the universe.

I was also concerned because as I began signing my consents, I read that if you store and freeze unfertilized eggs, your chances of crreating an embryo later is only 2-4%. However, if you store and freeze fertilized oocytes (embryo) your chances increase to 30-40%. I did ask a donor to help with fertilization of my oocytes, but sadly I was turned down. I respected the individuals decision not to help me and prayed for another option (without having to ask someone else or go to a sperm bank). Today I read that the more eggs you retrieve that are over 18 mm increase your chances of conception. For every 10 eggs saved your chances increase to 30-40%. Therein lies the lesson: When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. When faced with rejection, regroup and move on. You never know which blessing you might miss.

In other news, I shaved my hair. Yes, I am officially natural again. It's actually liberating, especially in the summertime. Women of color are such slaves to the upkeep of their (non-natural straightened) hair. I think of it as another birthday gift to myself. I'm thinking my friends and I will have a wig party to celebrate. Knowing my friends here in Maryland, and how much fun they can be, this idea might come to light. I'll keep you posted.

Summer has finally arrived! The month of Cancer is here and I hear good times are anticipated in the coming weeks. Until tomorrow...

Thank you for reading.

Peace and blessings,

Christina Madry

You Only Give Once

I am in week 2 of Operation "save my eggs". So far no unexpected bouts of crying or being overemotional. In fact, since I've begun my treatments, I feel that maybe I needed a little assistance in the estrogen department all along. I feel as though I have a brighter outlook on life, have more discipline with my diet and I am thinking more clearly.

So what does my fertility regimen entail you ask? The first day I received a sonogram to determine how many eggs were good. My diagnosis: my right ovary is a little slow and my left ovary would be better. I felt bad for my right ovary, like the kid who doesn't get picked for kickball because one leg is shorter than the other. After the nurse explained that each month the ovary production switches sides and there's no need to worry, I came home ready to start my treatments.

For three days, I injected Follistim, a follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), into my stomach. Actually my mother and sister did, I would pass out if I had to do this myself. On the fourth day I went into the doctors office for another sonogram and wow, there was a noticeable difference.

The goal in this process is to get the follicles surrounding my eggs to 18mm and retrieve them for storage. By the fourth day I was at 10 mm and one egg, the one I would probably have ovulated this month, was at approximately 12mm. There were so many visible eggs I felt like a proud mama. There were approximately 10-12 that were visible in my left ovary and 7-9 in my right ovary. Redemption! Since time is of the essence and I am unable to give twice as we originally anticipated, this is very good news. If I am able to store 15 eggs this month, that will make my year!

Because my estrogen was a at a level deemed "perfect", they decreased the amount of FSH and told me I had to add Ganirelix to my regimen at night. Yes, another subcutaneous injection -- oh what fun. Ganirelix is important because it will control my ovulation. I am to return to the doctors office again on Friday to determine how close we are to retrieval.

Additionally, I have contacted Discovery Health in order to have them document this experience. I just got a call from a producer today so wish me luck in this endeavor. I will return next week with my progress.

Thank you for reading.

Peace and blessings,

Christina Madry

Home

I am back! The last two weeks have been absolutely brilliant. Some moments were a little stressful but overall I had the most amazing experience. My host family and friends in Europe were there for me in ways that I am eternally grateful. While in Europe, I rediscovered my senses. I saw the Mediterranean Sea in Spain, smelled the aroma of fresh baked bread in Amsterdam, touched glasses with friends at dinner in celebration of life, heard "Beggin" during an evening of celebration in Spain and couldn't stop my feet from moving. Of course my favorite sense -- taste, allowed me to savor the buttery soft croissants of Paris.

But now my holidays are over and for the next 6-9 months, I am fully committed to the Bone Marrow Transplant.

My official schedule has been planned, no turning back now. We will move forward as outlined below:

Week of 6/22: Pre-testing
7/13: Consents
7/14: Line placement (Catheter)
7/15: Begin chemo (9 days)
7/24: BMT

I will also have additional appointments with radiation oncology and possibly with Dr. Brodsky.

Today I began my fertility treatments. They are approximately 2 weeks and I begin with injecting Follistim, a follicle stimulating hormone, into my stomach at night. The doctors will keep an eye on my better eggs, and when the time is right, retrieve them and store them. As you can see from the schedule above, I will begin the BMT process almost immediately following the completion of my fertility treatments. Beginning June 22, I will make an effort to blog daily. It is exactly one week before my birthday and although the number isn't too special, I have a feeling it will be one of my most memorable.

Thank you for reading.

Peace and blessings,

Christina Madry