A Family Affair

This week I took a little longer to write my blog because I had a lot of soul searching to do...in 48 hours. This week my thoughts have been all about family. I saw this image of my family circa 1986 a.d. and it brought back so many fond memories of my childhood. Yes, unfortunately that is me with the soul glo curl in the back row. It was great being raised around a big family. Every Sunday we would go to sunday school, then attend church and after we would go to my great-grandmother's home (who was 86 at the time -- she looks so young here!). We'd eat dinner, play with the neighborhood kids or watch MTV, whichever event was more exciting at that moment or conducive to the weather.

Now I'm forced to think about starting my own family and adding some munchkins to the bigger picture, that being my families legacy. I've been beating the boys away with a stick trying to take my time and make the right decisions about starting my own family, but let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. It's time to get serious about this.

I met with a fertility specialist, Dr. Garcia, on Monday to discuss the chances of me conceiving after the transplant. He confirmed I will go through menopause after my chemotherapy. Insert deep heartbreaking breath. Talk about a dealbreaker. He then consulted ways I can save eggs and conceive in a couple of years, once I'm ready. I must make a decision by this week so I can start the hormone treatments and take the next two months to save as many eggs as I can. That means I will not start my transplant procedure until I've completed my fertility treatments, which puts me around mid-June.

I spoke with a friend about this and my tone at the time was, "Is this all worth it?" He spoke of a funny, but appropriate, story of a man who had a bump on his nose and he thought it was the most hideous thing in the world. He went to see a plastic surgeon to fix it, only to have his nose so butchered by the surgeon, that he had to get 6 more additional surgeries. In the end, he ended up looking worse after the surgeries than when he started with one little bump. That's what I've been contemplating. Is it worth it to go through all of this to cure myself of SCA when I risk losing so many other things? I gave it to God and let it go. Today my heart says to go forward. So now I will prepare to save little Sarah Elizabeth and Abraham -- yes I've named them. I always adored these biblical names and Elizabeth is a family name. They say if you name something, it makes it more real. I'm just so happy that I did the research and will still have the opportunity to have children.

Thank you for reading.

Peace and blessings,

C. Madry